Hurry Up and Wait...

This ready-or-not baby of mine is about half-way here now. That's scaring me, seriously... I'm just starting to wrap my head around the idea of being pregnant, let alone the actuality of parenthood. On Monday my Doctor gave me a hugenormous stack of reading material all about pregnancy, and birthing, and newborns, and babies, and being a mom. It didn't help me feel prepared or informed. I read the whole freaking thing and all I really learned is that I don't know anything. Yesterday I had a super fun emotional day. I was mad at everything and everyone. Yelled at my mom and my husband. It sucked. Don't worry... apologized (and then cried) to both. Still didn't help. I feel awful... I'm a wreck. I have a million little things to do before this baby gets here SOON and there's nothing I can really do right now. Nothing I can get done. I've never been one of those list girls, but right now I'd like nothing more than a big check mark next to something. Anything. Just to know something was ready because I'm sure as heck not.