A loser smothered in lame sauce.

Sometimes I feel like I'm the coolest person alive. Seriously. I do. Everything I think of seems brilliant. My clothing is incredible. My jewelry beautiful. My speech impeccable.

Today is not one of those days. today I feel stupid. Really, incredibly dumb. And I hate that I have nothing in my life. Okay... That's not true. I have my husband who is amazing, but I have nothing that is truly mine. I suck at being a wife. I'm getting better, that's true, but I'm still pretty awful. I'm not in school. I have no job. And no friends. I know this sounds like a total pity party (in a way it is) but I'm just trying to tell you what I feel- with total honesty, just like I promised when I started this thing. I'm just wishing I had something. I really want to get into the wedding biz somehow. I think planning is really the route I want to go, but alas we can't afford to get me through one of the handy certificate programs they recommend and no one will take me on. And why can't we afford it? Because I don't have a job and can't support my family. Lame lame lame. Sorry for whining. Today I feel lame sauce. Just so you know.

Job Hunting

It's tough. Really, really tough. I've applied for about four jobs so far today and I'm not even close to done. Yikes. If anyone hears of anything I'd love to know about it! Thanks tons and bunches!

Blog Numero Dos

That's right kids... I want to start a new one. Kinda trying to ease myself into the idea of being a wedding planner- I want to have a blog of wedding stuff I love. Ideas, colors, dresses, decor, etc. I want to stick with the same theme of this one. Using lyrics from the Cole Porter song De-lovely... I can't decide what to call it and which three to use for the address. Anyone have any ideas? Here's the lyrics to help you out...

I feel a sudden urge to sing the kind of ditty that invokes the Spring
So, control your desire to curse while I crucify the verse
This verse I've started seems to me the 'Tin Pan-tithesis' of melody
So to spare you all the pain, I'll skip the darn thing and sing the refrain

The night is young, the skies are clear
And if you want to go walkin', dear
It's delightful, it's delicious, it's de-lovely

I understand the reason why
You're sentimental, 'cause so am I
It's delightful, it's delicious, it's de-lovely

You can tell at a glance what a swell night this is for romance
You can hear, dear Mother Nature murmuring low 'Let yourself go'

So please be sweet, my chickadee, and when I kiss ya, just say to me
It's delightful, it's delicious, it's delectable, it's delirious,
It's dilemma, it's de limit, it's deluxe, it's de-lovely

Time marches on, and soon it's plain
You've won my heart and I've lost my brain.
It's delightful, it's delicious, it's de-lovely.

Life seems to sweet that we decide
It's in the bag to get unified.
It's delightful, it's delicious, it's de-lovely.

See the crowd in that church, see the proud parson plopped on his perch.
Get the sweet beat of that organ sealing our doom. 'Here goes the groom, boom!'

How they cheer and how they smile as we go galloping down that aisle.
It's divine, dear. It's diveen, dear. It's de-wunderbar. It's de victory.
It's de valoop. It's de vinner. It's de voiks. It's de-lovely.

The knot is tied and so we take
A few hours off to eat wedding cake.
It's delightful, it's delicious, it's de-lovely.

It feels so fine to be a bride and how's the groom?
Why, he slightly fried.
It's delightful, it's delicious, it's de-lovely.

To the pop of champagne off we hop in our plush little plane,
'Till a bright light through the darkness cozily calls, 'Niag'ra Falls.'

All's well, my love, our day's complete, and what a beautiful bridal suite.
It's de-reamy. It's de-rowsy. It's de-reverie. It's de-rhapsody.
It's de-regal. It's de-royal. It's de-Ritz. It's de-lovely.

We settle down as man and wife
To solve the riddle called married life.
It's delightful, it's delicious, it's de-lovely.

Russian with love

Preevyet! (Hi!) For those of you who don't know.... I'm learning to speak Russian right now. It's pretty exciting and I'm becoming obsessed with the idea of have super secret conversations in Russian with Mr. Joseph on Trax and going to Russia on a couples mission and pretending we're foreign at the bus stop etc. My sweet husband swears I'm doing great but I have the reading level of about a four year old (I can sound things out but have NO CLUE what I'm saying) and the vocabulary of a two year old. We work hard but it's a pretty crazy language and my brain can only hold so much at a time. My favorite part of Russian lessons though is how excited and proud Mr. Joseph looks when I get something right. Love it! We watch movies in Russian sometimes to suplement the lessons and keep his language skills up. Twister is our favorite and pretty much the only one I can watch the whole way through without getting bored or frustrated but Mr. Joseph worries that if we keep watching that one I'll be able to swear in Russian but nothing else. Typical me right?! I also love watching War and Peace with him but it doesn't have subtitles or anything and it's tough for him to translate it fast enough for me. Dasvyedania!

Computer time! Yay!

So I'm in the library again... yayayayay. And I have so much I want to tell you all right now.

First. I have the best husband in the whole world. Really. Don't you other married girls try to argue with me. Mr. Joseph wins hands down. He's so good to me. I want to cry every time I have a second to think about how blessed I am to have him. He's just amazing and he understands me more than I understand myself sometimes. Today we went to Albertsons on the way to the bus stop. We realized we didn't really plan in the fact that it was lunch-ish time when we left. So we stopped and got some things there and then got on the bus and rode to the school. We had a lovely little picnic by the library. It was wonderful. I'm not doing it justice at all but the important thing is I love him. And us. And this beautiful life we're building every day.

Second. I keep thinking about what I want to be when I grow up. A mom first and foremost. And a darn good one if I have anything to say about it. But do I want anything else? I've known for a few years now that if I do have a job... I think I'd be happiest in the wedding industry. Really I'm obsessed. It's a little sick. So Mr. Joseph and I got talking the other night and I'm now thinking that I want to maybe do wedding planning as well as doing wedding cakes. I don't exactly know how to break into the biz though... Any thoughts? Tips? Anything?
You all know me... Do you think I'd be any good at that?

So it seems I'm a slacker...

Ok. No I'm not. I just don't have the internet... which is usually fine because we have the library (which I'm slightly in love with by the way) but right now we don't have a car so that makes it difficult for me to come here and blogstalk the crap out of all of you and chat 'til all hours of the night on facebook. It's been a trial but I'm getting through it. Oh... and for all of you who missed it Eden our darling Intrepid is in the shop. We got in a little fender bender while Christmas shopping in Sandy ('tis the season right?!) and it will be done Monday the 12th... No Wednesday the 14th... No... at the end of NEXT WEEK. Basically I'm ticked about it... The poor kid who hit us was driving his new dad-in-law's jeep and the insurance was expired. There was a whole sob story... and I'm not saying that to sound mean though I probably do. I really do feel bad for him. And he's paying to fix our car out of pocket- thus no rental car. Which was fine when we were told they would only have it a week and they "already have all the parts and just need to do the labor" of course today when we call because we were supposed to come get it the receptionist tells us they're "having a really hard time finding all the parts because it's an older model". Seriously. Get your stories straight and get me back my car so I can find a job before we're living in a box on the corner. Ugh. I'll stop now... I'm sure my angry rants are no fun to read. So for now... I'll say goodbye. Until the next time I can get to a computer... Peace out Girl Scout!